Why You Still Need Community—Even in a Committed Relationship

When you're in a committed relationship—especially if you have kids—it can feel like your partner and family should be your whole world. You might even feel guilty for wanting more connection outside of that. But here's something I’ve learned over and over again: we still need community.

​Not just a social circle. Not just occasional company. I’m talking about real community—where you can grow, contribute, be witnessed, and feel a sense of purpose.​

I've gone through different phases in life: being single, in long-term relationships, moving to new cities, dealing with stress, and navigating burnout. And every time, the right kind of community showed up—at just the right moment.

Sometimes it was a spiritual or church group. Other times, it was a circle of close friends who gathered over meals or walks. Once, it was a group of volunteers. More recently, it’s been three longtime friends reconnecting through online games—yes, the kind we played 20 years ago—not for nostalgia, but for the joy of being together again.

These communities reminded me of something important:

• Community shifts as we grow.
• It teaches us what we’re ready to learn.
• We’re allowed to outgrow one and move into another.
• And while family can be a community, it isn’t always the one that supports who we’re becoming.

Maybe you’ve told yourself, “I’m better off alone,” or “I don’t have time for anyone else.” Maybe you’ve felt that others always want something from you, and when you need help, they vanish. I’ve been there too. But I want to gently challenge those beliefs. Because even if they’ve been true before, they don’t have to stay true.​

A good community doesn’t drain you. It nourishes you. Sometimes it supports you with advice, sometimes with a shared laugh, and sometimes with a moment of silence where you feel seen. Sometimes, you’re the one supporting others. Sometimes you're just there. And all of it matters.

So here's my invitation: be open. Let life show you who you might meet next. Say yes to that gathering or that message if it feels good—not in your head, but in your body, in your heart. You don’t need to force anything. But do stay open.

And if you're struggling to hear that inner yes—or even to know what community would feel good for you—reach out. I’d love to help you reconnect with your own inner guidance.

We’re not meant to walk this path alone.
Not entirely.